Thursday, May 5, 2011

Where to begin. Well this week I have been in beautiful Costa Rica. I am right now sitting at the bar on Jaco Beach. It's beautiful. The day before I left for Costa Rica my dad witnessed an 18 year old girl run a red light and collided with an oncoming car. He helped her out of the car and stayed with her until the paramedics came. He then called me and said all he could think of was that happening to me and how he would want someone to stay with me. In my crazy Friday afternoon trying to get everything handled for my 5 AM flight to Costa Rica Saturday morning, that onset of emotion shook me. I cried. In my car and alone so no one could see, but I still cried. Ironically enough I had just finished a conversation about how I don't like crying, and how it makes me feel weak, but there I was crying my eyes out.

I didn't tell many people I was going to Costa RIca so a few days in I got a facebook message from, I don't even know what he is to me anymore, he thought my phone was broken. I hadn't said anything about leaving because I didn't feel I needed to let anyone know, I knew where I was going to be. I have to work on that. Maybe I will.

It's funny how people make you feel, I don't tell people many things, I keep most of it to myself, I just let the world think that they know me, I don't know why I do it. But lately I've begun to share, and it scares me so much. Not with everyone, just this one person, and that scares me. I'm not sure what it is, but I have been trying to be better about sharing.

Well that is all.

xoxo

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